The Psychology of the Silent Treatment

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I avoid conflicts as much as possible, although I have been learning different methods of being able to communicate with someone with whom I have conflicts or disagreements with in a civil way. I have often used the silent treatment before when I couldn't directly confront someone I have a conflict with, but I have realized that such an act is very destructive, not just for the other person, but for me as well.

According to psychotherapist Julie Murray, the silent treatment is a worse form of giving someone the cold shoulder, because it involves a lot of shame and rejection. It deprives the person being given the silent treatment their need for belonging and acceptance.

In romantic relationships, couples may agree on spending some time to cool off after an argument and then meeting with each other to talk about the situation and share their side. However, Murray cautions people from frequent use of the silent treatment as a form of manipulation and control. In these situations, it becomes abusive and would require intervention or help from a professional.

Learn more about the silent treatment, and how to deal with conflicts in more constructive ways in this article on The Guardian.