The Psychology of the Silent Treatment

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I avoid conflicts as much as possible, although I have been learning different methods of being able to communicate with someone with whom I have conflicts or disagreements with in a civil way. I have often used the silent treatment before when I couldn't directly confront someone I have a conflict with, but I have realized that such an act is very destructive, not just for the other person, but for me as well.

According to psychotherapist Julie Murray, the silent treatment is a worse form of giving someone the cold shoulder, because it involves a lot of shame and rejection. It deprives the person being given the silent treatment their need for belonging and acceptance.

In romantic relationships, couples may agree on spending some time to cool off after an argument and then meeting with each other to talk about the situation and share their side. However, Murray cautions people from frequent use of the silent treatment as a form of manipulation and control. In these situations, it becomes abusive and would require intervention or help from a professional.

Learn more about the silent treatment, and how to deal with conflicts in more constructive ways in this article on The Guardian.

Does Having Children Really Make Our Lives More Fulfilling?

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Traditionally, many people believe that children make your life more fulfilling. Not having children is often looked down upon in different parts of the world. However, does having children really equate to happiness and fulfillment? The answer is more complex than we think.

According to a survey of men and women who willfully chose to be child-free reported that they felt satisfied with their life. Women say they have more freedom and control, as well as more financial stability. Overall, childless men and women feel less stressed and find greater satisfaction in their marriages.

On the other hand, men and women who decide to have children experience what is called "parenthood paradox". They feel more stressed and less satisfied because they feel deprived of their time, sleep, and social life.

Despite this, not all people with children feel miserable. Several factors can help ease the burden of parenthood such as getting social support from other family members, sharing the responsibility of raising children between partners, and working at places with family-friendly policies.

At the end of the day, studies have shown that satisfaction and fulfillment in life are connected with whether people feel they have control over the decisions they make in their lives.

Even people who wanted to have children but couldn't were still able to find meaning and satisfaction in their lives by shifting their attention and focus on other things that helped them flourish and be happy.

So, the answer to fulfillment in life is more complicated than simply saying that having children will automatically make your life more fulfilled as opposed to the alternative. It's all about what we do with what we are given in life.